Imouto no Naku Koro ni Episode 1: Legend of the Imouto
Welcome to Miryuuin Academy. The Imouto extends her heartfelt greetings. First, please put yourself at ease.
There is nothing too difficult to think about. Accept entirely, silently, the events to happen. That is all that is asked of you.
The difficulty is standard. Shall we first take the easy road?
Mikadono Shougo had just returned from the funeral. His father passed away a few days ago, leaving the gigantic Mikadono Corporation to his wife’s and son’s hands. He trembled at the sight of accounting papers on his desk.
Shougo tried to sleep the nerves off, but ended up worrying. His eyes tried to search for something interesting in the room, but it failed. What else did this room have when it only featured a bleak, gray wallpaper and a dusty old table. Shougo said to himself, “I have to keep focus, man. Gotta focus.”
Where did that voice came from? His eyes started wandering again and he found a small rectangular gap on the wall across him; it resembled those found in prisons. Ah, so this was the place where Father did BSDM with his female employees who were found misspelling certain words in an official document, he thought. Father did some really odd kinky stuff back then.
“Onii-sama, I’m here!”
Again, the voice came from the gap. Shougo tried replying, “W-Who?”
“Sorry, I wanted to see you, but there are too many people and I can’t get into your place.”
“First of all,” Shougo said, “who are you?”
A pause. And the voice whispered, “I’m your younger sister.”
Shougo stepped back a bit. Who in the world was she, he thought. Was she some creepy pedophile who hunted down male teenagers like him — like the one he saw on TV? He’s still a virgin; he didn’t want to be raped just yet! That said, her voice was high-pitched and seemed to come from a high school student.
But a younger sister?
She said, “You’re no longer alone. We’ll be together from now on!”
“Are you r-really my younger sister?”
“I’ve come to marry you!”
That took Shougo by surprise. Was this girl nuts?
He said, “But if you’re my sister, we can’t get married.”
There was a huge pause. And Shougo heard footsteps in quick successions. It sounded like she was running away from the building.
While an odd experience, Shougo forgot about it after meeting his mother the next day. She was accompanied by Seri, a secretary of hers. Shougo sat down with her. Seri was the only one who stood up; she didn’t like sitting down. Shougo’s mom looked down at her coffee cup sitting on a white round plate. She liked espresso. However, she hated drinking espresso with her son.
What’s wrong with him? She looked down on him not drinking coffee. He’s drinking green tea right now. Yuck!
Nevertheless, you can only give birth to one idiot. She’s gonna marry someone richer like Donald Trump. Even if she got divorced, she’ll get a nice divorce settlement. Maybe build a mansion on some island like Rokkenjima. This Mikadono guy — what a loser. Only ten million dollars? No way was she interested in squabbling a small amount of money with her son.
That’s why she wanted Shougo to fulfill her late husband’s will.
“Shougo, your father has left a will. Do you know that?”
“But do you know what’s the criteria for getting your inheritance aka controlling that whole Mikadono business?”
He shook his head.
She cleared her throat, took out the will, and said, “‘You have to get a girlfriend. And she’d better be a moe 16 year old girl.’ That’s what the will said. Wow, my husband is a fucking pervert.”
Seri laughed. She remembered his spanking technique. Oh, that was amazing. Good times, good times.
“So,” Shougo’s mother said, “I just transfered you from your shitty prep school to Miryuuin Academy. Saw some of the girls — I can go lesbian over them. Seriously. If I wasn’t straight, I’d hit them, you know.”
“And oh, we got you an apartment. Saw the dorm rules — it states that there is a noise level restriction. You can’t deepen your relationship if there’s a noise level restriction. That’s why I bought you a nice apartment.”
She handed Shougo the keys and took a cursory glance at her watch.
“Oh, look at the time, Jintai‘s on. See ya later.”
She stood up and Seri followed along. Shougo could hear his mother whisper to Seri, “Wanna do a threesome with Trump later?”
Shougo forgot to ask his mom where the school was.
He sighed. He must be taken by surprise over that threesome suggestion. Shougo saw Marie Chocolate, a cake store, and sighed even more.
“Mom forgot my birthday again. When the hell am I going to get my 3DS?”
When he visited his dad at the hospital, he promised him to buy a birthday cake. Was he going to buy one from the grave? A louder sigh.
A girl with giant breasts came out from the cake store.
Shougo was stunned. Her breasts…
She looked at her purchase contained in a small box and smiled. The girl crossed the street while looking at her phone. Shougo heard a truck skidding, drifting, and speeding. The truck was going to crash into her.
“Look out!” Shougo cried out.
The girl looked at the truck. She gasped.
The truck went by her and she’s on the pathway, unhurt. This scene makes no sense and I can’t write a darn thing about it to make it funnier. So she must have used magic, I figured.
Shougo went to her side and helped her up. Under her skirt was a black hole. He asked her if she was okay.
“But under that skirt, there’s a black hole!”
“Oh, it’s actually a venus flytrap masked in black. All the Academy girls have that. If anyone sees my panties and has an erection, I’m a bit scared over what happens next.”
The girl looked at her cake box. No scratches.
Anime physics, Shougo thought.
“Thank you, Mr…”
“Mikadono. You’re a Miryuuin Academy student?”
“Yes, our uniforms emphasize our breasts more. Cute, eh? My name’s Tsuruma Konoe.”
“You have a weird phone.”
“Oh, it’s Motorola. They make really weird phone designs.” She looked at her pink phone and continued, “Say, do you want to walk to a park for no reason except to flesh out my character even more?”
They sat at park bench. She opened up the cake box.
“Mind I give you a red herring?” She asked. The cake box was opened; it was a cream puff.
“No, I like the cream puff please.”
“I think we are fated to meet together.”
Fate. Shougo hadn’t heard that word since the end of Fate/zero. And Penguindrum, of course. What a nice word it was. But Konoe calling this meeting fate?
Konoe handed the cream puff to Shougo. Shougo ate it and said, “Wow, it has a light taste!”
“Isn’t it good? By the way,” Konoe said, “you have some cream on your face. Let’s unlock a CG where I will wipe the cream away from your mouth with my handkerchief.”
She wiped it off and got embarrassed. She said, “Oh, I don’t know why I do that. Writers sometimes…”
Shougo’s heart beat faster than an OreImo light novel being sold.
“It feels like,” she continued, “we’ve known each other for a long time.”
That’s another red herring, dammit!
Shougo met his loli homeroom teacher. No comment.
He introduced himself in the room of generic classmates. Shougo spotted Konoe again waving at him and a spunky-looking girl. He was ordered to sit between the two. After sitting down, Shougo tried to introduce himself to the girl but the girl just blushed and looked away from him.
“She’s Kannagi Miyabi.” Konoe whispered, “She’s the tsundere of this work.”
Shougo whispered back, “Wow, that’s pretty moe. You sure she isn’t voiced by Kugumiya Rie?”
“No, Sakura Ayana. You know, that really young seiyuu that voiced the young Yozora in Haganai? By the way, I’m voiced by Ishihara Kaori — she voiced Kanna from AnoNatsu. Weird choices, right?”
Both Shougo and Konoe brought a bunch of black garbage bags to the recycle center.
“Wanna throw the garbage together? It’s romantic!”
How could you not reject that proposition when it’s spoken by someone as lovely as Konoe?
After they finished their duties, Shougo said, “Don’t mind me helping you out. After all, you’re the class rep. I shouldn’t give you more trouble.”
Konoe said, “Trouble? D-Do you find me troublesome?” She turned her back to him.
“N-No, of course not!”
“I was just kidding, Mikadono-san!” She turned her back around and blushed even more.
“Haha, good one. By the way, can you call me by my first name? I don’t like the Mikadono name being flung around. My dad’s sex scandals are very well-known in this area.”
“Sure, Shougo! But you have to call me Konoe too! After all, it wouldn’t be fair!”
“U-um, really? Okay, K-Konoe-san.”
“T-That’s a big scar.”
She was brushing Shougo’s hair away, revealing that scar.
“Oh, this scar. I got it from some accident, but I don’t remember what it was. In fact, any memory pertaining to that situation is blanked out. Amazing plot device, right?”
“I find that plot device really cute. Actually, it’s turning me on. Hey, wanna kiss?”
The two characters got closer. And closer. Were they seriously going to kiss at the garbage center?
“Holy crappy romantic scene, Batman!”
Both Konoe and Shougo jumped in surprise. The shout came from the tree. A girl flew down from the tree.
It was Miyabi.
“W-What the hell were you doing up there, Miyabi?” Shougo asked nicely.
“Napping. But I heard some idiotic couple were going to kiss at the garbage place. Wow.”
Konoe mumbled, “We weren’t doing anything!”
“Konoe!” Another different voice.
Brown-haired big busty girl and yellow-haired girl appeared out of nowhere. Clearly, this anime is feminist.
The brown-haired girl said, “Konoe, come on! It’s Houkago Tea Time — I mean, student council time!”
The yellow-haired girl, voiced by Azusa of K-On!, said, “Jeez, you just want to eat the cakes, do you?”
“Ah, Pres. Tendou Mana-san and Vice Pres. Kunitachi Rinka-san! I’m saved. Anyway, see ya!”
She ran away.
Miyabi and Shougo were left behind.
“Hey Kanna — Wait, you were listening?”
“Of course. Stuff like you not liking the ‘Mikadono Corporation sex scandal’. So I’m using your first name. By the way…”
Miyabi walked closer to him.
“Have you or had you ever been a member of the Konoe’s Harem Club?”
“No — and Konoe has a harem club?”
“Yeah, that garbage scene obviously shows she’s a whore.” Miyabi spat on the ground. She continued, “According to Studio Gokumi’s and this light novel writer’s logic, in order to prove you are just classmates with Konoe, let’s kiss.”
“Yeah! If you were classmates, you wouldn’t kiss Konoe, right? Probably fap a bit and that’s all. So I want you to kiss me.”
“Good god, no!” Shougo held his hand up in protest.
“Hm, I’m letting you put your tongue in my mouth then.”
“No! And is that seriously a real quote from the anime?”
Miyabi folded her hands and said, “Of course, I just changed the line a bit differently. This is a harem anime after all.”
A mage girl was in a dark room. She looked at the mirror.
“I’ve been waiting for so long, Onii-chan.”
This scene is subtle.
After hours of walking aimlessly, Shougo found his apartment.
“God, that was an eventful day,” he said out loud to himself, “but no fap-worthy scenes because of those venus flytrap scenes. Something’s wrong with this anime.”
The doorbell rang. The camera zoomed into the door. The corridor was not lit.
“Refrigerated food delivery here!”
The screen got wiped and Shougo found himself holding a brown box. The corridor was lit. Amazing budget, Shougo thought.
The box had a label. It was sent to Shougo obviously, but the sender was not someone he expected:
Sender: I.M. MOTOR
Holy crap, Shougo thought, this wasn’t like the anime. In the anime, Shougo was supposed to get “As above”, meaning this box was sent by himself. How meta confusing.
He opened the box and inside was a Marie Chocolate box and a smaller box. Boxes, you gotta have boxes.
Shougo opened the Marie Chocolate box.
It was a birthday cake.
Did Konoe sent this cake to Shougo because Shougo was forever alone? He thought hard, but it was impossible. He didn’t even say to her that today was his birthday.
He opened the other box. It was a figurine.
Explosions came into the screen. Shougo remembered his superhero as a child.
Under that figurine was a picture.
It showed a very young Shougo with a girl’s back turned from the camera.
His phone rang.
It’s the Imouto.
“Happy birthday!” she said.
Shougo realized the Imouto had sent him this birthday cake. Why, of course: I.M. MOTOR sounds like Imouto! He shouted to the phone, “Who the hell are you?”
“I’m your younger sister.”
This younger sister crap was frightening him.
“Did you receive my present?” the Imouto asked.
“You sent it, right?”
The Imouto used the same phone model as Konoe’s. Subtleeeeee!
“What about that damn photo?” Shougo shouted into the phone.
“It’s a photo from back then when we went to the amusement park together.”
Shougo felt pain from his scar. Repressed memory. How Freudian.
“We’ve been separated for such a long time,” the Imouto said, “but I’m really happy we could meet again.”
“I attend the same school as you do. I was really surprised with how charismatic you’ve become. What’s more: you were kind enough to help throw away the thrash…”
Shougo leaped back in surprise. The Imouto had seen the garbage scene! She was seriously there!
“I love you, Onii-sama.”
Beep. Beep. Beep.
On the photo’s back was a message — another derivative from the anime:
I’m going to fuck the living night out of you.
And we’re not using condoms.
On a lighter note,
She’s bathing and playing with her breasts.
… Her ass is censored.
When the next day arrived, Shougo walked to the school as if he just saw a ghost. He couldn’t believe what he just heard and saw.
“I’m going be insane, am I? Hahaha. Haha. Ha.”
People started getting scared of him. He was talking to himself.
“This is like that Higurashi work, right? The first arc, especially. Hahahaha!”
Houjou Satoshi was walking from school — it was a good away baseball game — when he saw Shougo. Shougo saw him and punched him. He got the baseball bat. Satoshi was unconscious and got kidnapped, leaving his little sister to go fucking insane.
With the famed Satoshi bat, Shougo started walking everywhere swinging the bat carelessly like a madman.
Konoe was turned on.
“Wow, I like that baseball bat. Where did you get it?”
“I don’t want to explain the whole When They Cry mythology. Wait, I just saw someone looking at me.”
The mage girl got caught. Surprised, she ran away.
“Get back here, you son of a bitch!” Shougo cried. Konoe cheered.
Shougo trapped the mage girl at the rooftop.
“Now, why the hell are you running away?”
“Isn’t that obvious?”
“I can’t stop thinking about you, Onii-chan!”
Blood trickled from the bat.
The mage girl’s corpse laid on the ground.
The murderer sighed in relief. Finally, no more of this Imouto crap.
“Time to CTRL this shit of an anime. Gimme the harem flag now!”
ENDROLL (as translated by Witch Hunt):
In the city, according to someone’s wish, the flags returned once again and let their lively cries or anthems be heard. Yet… this someone is not seen. He has vanished into thin air.
Afterwards, an inspection of his home was performed by the policemen who came. He did not come home…
Criminal inspections suggests the protagonist CTRL’d without realizing he is going to a Bad End. They also found the photo and the recorded call by the Imouto.
However, …the Imouto was fickle.
She did not bother herself to hide this tale that had no need of telling, and she allowed its transmission.
Then, many years later.
A strange wine bottle that had drifted on the waves of a river was pulled out by a Studio Gokumi executive. Inside it was a thin, tightly rolled notebook fragment, written upon in crammed small letters.
That was,…………this tale.
People will know for the first time, through this notebook fragment, the enigma of the mystery-enshrouded July the 6th 2012, and the truth of the anime filled with strangeness.
This incident was later called “The Onii-sama Got Raped Incident”, “Who is Imouto” or such, but weeaboos of the world came to refer to it as “Kono Naka ni Hitori, Imouto ga Iru!”
Even though the notebook fragment in the wine bottle will tell of this incident filled with mystery, it won’t be telling it with the truth. That’s right, …perhaps not even the writer of the notebook knew the truth. ……It’s possible that she wanted to know the truth.
According to the name written down,…her name is Sagara Mei. Furthermore, as the result of an all-out police investigation, concerning Sagara, a body part, …a piece of her jaw was found at the rooftop. It was a precious instance where they managed to identify the owner of a body part through dentist medical records. Her mage hat was also found.
…Since in that gruesome situation there were countless body parts whose ownership or even provenance couldn’t be determined, it can probably be said that this jaw was an extremely fortunate piece. And so, let us tie this tale to the last sentence of the notebook fragment that Sagara Mei left.
“By the time you have read this, Shougo-oneechan has been raped by the Imouto.
The only difference will be whether there is a body or not.
You who have read this.
Please find out the truth.
That’s my only wish.”
—— Sagara Mei
– The truth of “Kono Naka ni Hitori, Imouto ga Iru!” has not been brought to light even today.
Sleep peacefully, little sister.
A sleep from which no one shall disturb you again.
The winner is the Imouto.
All of Shougo’s virginity has been taken away by the Imouto.
All of Shougo’s blasphemies are filled with the curse of sex with the Imouto.
When the Little Sisters cry, there are no virgins.
Imouto no Naku Koro Ni.
Going Commando on Anime presents. Welcome to Miryuuin Academy.
“WHEN THEY CRY 5”