Shinning Terribad Reviews: Animu and the Engrish Language


Ryukishi07, you’re overestimating the simplicity of the English language.

A history about me first:

I was born in the communist country of Asia. Therefore, English isn’t my first language; it’s my second. I went to the local schools and the English they spoke and wrote was butchered. In Asia, English tends to merge with other languages. Therefore, what I learned was not English, but Asiaglish.

With my father’s hard-earned money, I went to an international school located in the southeastern part of Asia. At my sixth grade class, my English was lacking. “Vocabulary, grammar, sentence fluency,” I asked my English teacher, “what were those?” What a stupid question, but I had to ask. I took essay writing seriously and read more books than any normal student would. My drama teacher coached me how to speak proper English. At the age of seventeen, my Math teacher complimented my speech. “It’s pretty darn good,” my bald Math teacher said with a smile, “except when you pronounce three and tree.” At the age of eighteen, my English teacher said, “Congratulations, you’re a great satire student. Your essays are wonderful and I like to keep them as examples, if you don’t mind.” He shook my hand and gave me a nice badge, indicating I was his best student. That confidence made me start this blog, now one month and a half old.

Now, I’m going to college in America to major in directing. Can’t wait to finish college and stop getting homework once and for all!

That’s my story with the English language.

So if anyone says to me, “english is not my native language lol plz excuse my engrish”, I will hunt you down and make sure you wish you haven’t said those words.

Any questions?

#1: A Lots of Comments

Username: genno2009
Subject: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters GX
Episodes seen: 180 of 180 episodes seen
Rating: 4/10
Found on: MyAnimeList

First of all, I came here, not to talk about the story, but to get rid of this burden after watch this series

Intros, in my opinion, shape the tone of a review. It is the one that hooks the audience into reading more. This introductory sentence — just imagine there’s a period at the last part — shows the huge attention of care into the review.

Clearly, writing a review must be a burden for him.

I have a lots of comments about this one

I have a lots of issues with this review.

I am a Yu-gi-oh fan, and I am the type of person who likes to see all series

How can you be a fan when you didn’t even write Yu-Gi-Oh! properly? Real fans write their titles properly, dammit!

I got really disapointed, unfortunately I saw this GX series in 3 languages, the first season I’ve downloaded in the original language (JAP) and I started to like it, but around 50th or 60th episodes, I couldn’t find in Japanese, and downloaded Portuguese Version, which kinda sucks

… Is this a review?

Around 80th’s I had the bad luck to encounter the disgusting version of Cartoon Network and 4Kids, which made me hate GX series

4Kids had better English than this guy.

“By the time I reached the 80th episode, I was unlucky to encounter the Cartoon Network’s and 4Kids’s dub. It caused me to hate the GX series.”

It’s all wrong in English series, the duel card format, the soundtrack, the voices and their accents, the fuckin’ american lame jokes that completely ruined the Anime scene


“It’s all wrong in the English series: the duel card format…”

Why did you capitalize anime? 😥

Also, this is a shitty reason to hate a series. Just because you watched a terrible dub doesn’t qualify this series as crap. Now, I’m not defending this show because I don’t give a damn about it. However, it’s despicable to find a series terrible thanks to your stupidity. It’s kinda like listening to an iPhone recording of a YouTube rip Persona 4 soundtrack in a strip club and, because the quality sucked, calling it “the worst shit in history of mankind.”

Well, I would love to see this one all in Japanese, but I couldn’t find, so… life sucks, and that’s why I scored as a 4

I agree that life sucks; it really worries me that a fellow human wrote this review and thought it was English.

After this experience, I am completely against DUBBED versions

Fun fact: dubs are not bad. For example, did you know Emperor Wakamoto dubbed Lando in Star Wars?

And one more thing, sorry the bad english

Hadenalicious!

This short review has a lots of comments, right?

Suggested Improvements:

  • This is a rant, not a review. Reviews are supposed to persuade people to watch.
  • Blame your stupidity, not the anime.

#2: Chairs

Username: lucky03
Subject: Bakugan Battle Brawlers
Episodes seen: 30 of 52 episodes seen
Rating: 3/10
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other notes: “40 of 75 people found this review helpful.” A top review.

Our first top review! What’s a top review? It’s a review that many people agreed is good. Therefore, it appears in the anime’s MAL page. It’s quite a coveted spot; it only allows two reviews to be on the limelight. I’ve had like three reviews on that beautiful spot.

So I can safely assure you it’s a hard spot to take.

lol jk

Someday, I’ll write a good satire on how to make a top MAL review. It’s pretty easy. Anyway, Bakugan it is!

Honestly for me this anime was bad, It riped of pokemon big time and littlebit of yu-gi-oh, only ones that will tell you otherwise havent seen those shows. ok its not soo bad if its a rip of, I love those shows. ok its not soo bad if its a rip of, I love those shows.

What.

This review is one paragraph. I just took a snippet of it; I have to break it down for this article. Just imagine all the blockquotes combined into one sickly disgusting paragraph. Also, what’s with the commas?

First is the dialog, its corny, anoyng and pain to listen. seckond monsters are used all over again and again, in next episode by other players, theres not even many of them like yugioh one episode has more then in full season of this. Same goes for strategi if you see one episode win, the others kinda end the same, by calling their strongest monster.


Disappear.

Enoyng was that It didnt make sometimes any sense, two guys fight one dude and they win and playd whit eatch other, theres a winner, so they are starting to talk ,,we will defeat that guy ( I was like you just did) and then we will see whos better (hello again It just happend two minutes ago),,. Ok story is typikal world is in danger and these croup of pepole can only stop them by playng bakugan nothing special. ok for my thouts its good if you are 1-12 watch it, its popular but it have been made for geting children to buy those toys if you are older or this isnt cool anymore I dont recomend.

This review is a footsore.

( sorry for bad english).

This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review. This review!

Suggested Improvements:

  • Please use paragraphs. I don’t want to read it, let alone critique it.
  • Don’t murder commas.
  • Spell check. “Enoying” is obviously wrong.

#3: Nature’s Way


Username: Snapichan
Subject: Rumiko Takahashi Anthology
Episodes seen: 13 of 13 episodes seen
Rating: 8/10
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other notes: Before this review, the reviewer wrote other reviews in Portuguese.

When i first saw the dvd box from this anime, i thought it was a story about a theater company, playing their acts. Well, it´s not, but almost. This is a uncomon and curious kind of anime.

Curiouser and curiouser!

“When I first saw the DVD box of this anime, it looked like a story about a theater company. Well, it’s kinda like that. It’s a strange anime.”

Go for natural English. It sounds so much nicer~

As you know, or not, Rumiko Takahashi is the creator of Inuyasha, Ranma, and others, so you´ll know allready the kind of characters, their expressions, etc, from this.

“As you probably know, Rumiko Takahashi is the creator of Inuyasha, Ranma, and some other animes. Expect Rumiko’s signature style of characters, expressions, and more from this work.”

So, we have 13 episodes, each one has a total diferent story from the others, and this is the first point that i analyze. You ´ll never get bored from the stories, as a said, they are all diferent, and the stories are all about situations, that we live with it every day, or some special ocasion. Even once, when you see the anime, you think, that you saw, or lived that situation one time, or more.

European keyboards suck. For those who have never typed in an European keyboard, the symbols get mismatched. Your ordinary apostrophe (‘) becomes this strange symbol (´). It gets annoying if you’re used to typing normal keyboards. Because this is a hardware issue, I’ll let that go.

What I can’t stand is broken English.

“So, we have 13 episodes” doesn’t need a comma splice — only if it’s used as a conjunction. The sentence should also be a period or better: a colon (lolpun). This is because “each one has…” is another independent clause. There is also no need for a comma before “and” because you’re not listing. “i” should be capitalized.

What the hell’s “as a said”?

Most of the other mistakes are similar so it’s not worth writing about.

I highly recomend this one, for the people how want something really diferent and light from anime/manga. Check it out (sorry my english, i´m portuguese xD)

I know a 15 year old Portuguese who writes better English than you.

By the way, I love Portuguese egg tarts.

Suggested Improvements:

  • Use periods.
  • Read out loud. Every sentence is clunky.
  • You are not being persuasive, just reporting. Positive reviews should pump me up for the anime.

#4: ULTRA HAPPY


Username: Usagi_Nyan00
Subject: Smile Precure!
Episodes seen: 5 of ? episodes seen
Rating: 7/10
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other notes: The MAL profile picture is our very own Captain Homerun-chan.

And oh, she lives in the same Asiatic city as I do.

Okay, this is my first review, so, i’m sorry if there’s wrong english in here.

You are like the worst DJ ever: don’t combine two wrongs into a sentence!

Story:8

0/10

Smile precure is the new precure series after Suite precure.

no way

Smile precure have a good story. However, I think the story are look like an average Magical girl, like an talking animal, founded by a girl (mostly, junior high school girl). And the girl will be a magical girl, her friend also be a magical girl.

She have problems with singular nouns, capitalization (mostly, random ones). And bizarre sentences.

But, something that make this special is, the atmosphere is cute,funny, colorfull and ULTRA HAPPY.

This made my day.

It’s different than mahou shoujo series that make a hit in 2011, that have a darker plot, with gory death and despair. Whenever the story is more colorfull, it’s have a good action and funny hensin. And still stay in kids magical girl genre, funny and eyecatching.

Wait, your MAL profile picture is Homerun-chan. You’re disagreeing with your avatar; Madoka Magica is a critique of the mahou shoujo series.

What is wrong with this review?

Art:9
Colorfull,Nice and Kawaii. Beautyfull art’s make’s this anime have a good score in art.
The artwork in this anime are more childish,good looking and Beautyfull.

Weabooglish is not Beautyfull.

Sound:7
The OP is nice to hear, The ending too, the character voice is nice too, nice sountrack, nice voice for the monster (?), and the evil pne’s have a good voice too. The character voice is cute and cheerfull.

Why the commas.

Character:7
Okay, Why i give this a low score?

Because it’s not Beautyfull?

The answer is, it’s look like an average mahou shoujo character.

So close.

Other, like Aoki, Is a big sister tipe that smart and talented. There’s so many mahou shoujo anime that have a big sister type in the group.


She tiped this shit so well.

Enjoyment:6
Funny,have a friendship thingy, and fighting scene, it’s still a good mahou shoujo anime. Whenever, sometime’s they have a bit average scene, it’s still fun to watch.

Watching five episodes has given her this Beautyfull conclusion.

Overall:7
Good, and nice mahou shoujo with less dark and despair theme, and fun to watch.

I’m in despair! Shinning Terribad reviews have left me in despair!

Suggested Improvements:

  • Please don’t review any more mahou shoujo series. I love mahou shoujo works; please don’t destroy my love.

#5: This article will not have a happy ending


Username: erastale
Subject: Azumanga Daioh
Episodes seen: 26 of 26 episodes seen
Rating: 10/10
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other notes: His Higurashi manga review is a top review. Please downvote it.

The writer’s actual MAL profile avatar:

The reviewer hasn’t logon onto MAL since 2010. Which means the reviewer had time travelled, got my stamp of approval, and used it to mock my despair. It’s the only explanation.

Some say this anime is the best of all slice of life and some (JUST) RESPOND to this hype by expressing their Hatred forAzumanga…

I (JUST) RESPOND to this review by expressing my hatred forErastale.

This is not fair you cannot JUST LABEL it with Extremely Overrated or something like this…you watch it with bias and expressing all bias for your own wish to torture all heart of this anime’s lovers.

This 10/10 review is right. Stop being biased, people.

And how can anyone said it’s characters are cliche? Maybe you were drunk while watching it or something? I do agree that Tomoyo and Koyomi is cliche for many slice of life comedy (Tomo along with Minami Kana and Matsuoka Miu will bring Hyperactive Girl’s Destruction for sure) But dudes , How can you say Osaka and Sasaki cliche!? Osaka is one of the most unique character in this universe! I find no one else like her…No! Mataro in Zetsubou sensei is not even 2% close to Osaka. Osaka has her own trait if you really watch this anime without bias. Many who’ve known her well do not even label her as Dumb or something…She may look like air-head one but she’s clever in her own way…This is what other anime do not have.Plus Osaka even did some morbid thing (Intentionally or unintentionally)

This is my favorite comedy anime. How dare you argue for it! I’m in the midst of scratching my neck into pieces, but I must keep on critiquing:

1. Rants are not reviews. Move your butthurt crap into your blog.
2. Every punctuation is used wrongly.
3. Reading it out loud wakes Goethe from the dead.

Sasaki is also worth mention.Her characteristic smack those who like to label people by their own look. Yes she is tough girl who is good at sport.But she has her secret side for her love of cute things especially cats! she is cliche!? Hell no!


Very butthurt. I think he’ll make a great aniblogger.

And if you just want to watch “OH BLOODY HILARIOUS FOR EVERY (SPLIT) SECOND BIT” just walk away. Slice of Life is not comedy itself from the start.

Kill me, baby! This rant — I’m not reviewing as a “review” anymore — is using juvenile sentences. You’re not going to convert any enemies if you’re looking down at your opponent.

But you know Azumanga did well in how it’s story is so similar to daily life but yet more funny and more interesting without making you feeling like faraway spectator.You’ll feel so close to them as if “OH! I’ve ever been imagine crazy thing to sleep like Osaka when I was in classroom (But not just crazy and funny as hers)” or “The scene which Tomo put the chair to make sleeping Chiyo knock against make me think of what my friend , who is not as hyperactive as Tomo, did”

I wish I was a bird. Then, I can poop on his rooftop.

This is what Slice of life should be…and this is why so many people worship Azumanga.You must admit the truth that Azumanga left so many impression for 2000’s Slice of Life that it eventually become a “Standard” for other 2000’s Slice of life anime…so it’s very common when you heard people said “It’s not funny as Azumanga”

So I’m going to give the benefit of the doubt: 2000’s can mean two things. He could mean the show aired at the year 2000 or in the 2000s.

Azumanga Daioh aired at 2002.
2000s = 2000 to 2099

Great argument; terrible execution.

However! I liked Ichigo Mashimaro & Minami-ke which is NOT similar to Azumanga.They both have different style of story-telling , soundtrack using etc. I love Matsuoka Miu and think she’s 3 times more hilarious than Tomo. And Princess Chiaki-sama in Minami-ke is also my favourite.

> Princess Chiaka-sama

It’s all useless, all useless!

But…Azumanga is my first love for Slice of life anime! How can I resist the feeling.

How can I resist the rage.

Sorry for my bad english because I do not live in english-using country.
(You may tease me “Coppora! Coppora!” as you wish.)
And very sorry for review like this because there is no “re-review” in this site.

You can edit your review at My Reviews, dammit.

… Coppora… Coppora…

Suggested Improvements:

  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora
  • Coppora

I AM PLANTINUM MAD
I AM PLANTINUM MAD
I AM PLANTINUM MAD
I AM PLANTINUM MAD


HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

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About Kastel

My panache feels very hard.

6 responses to “Shinning Terribad Reviews: Animu and the Engrish Language”

  1. bobzilla21 says :

    Love the irony of #5.
    I think I’m more lenient with second-language speakers than you are, considering my own experiences learning languages were not pleasant. But some of these barely count as reviews…

    • Trollkastel says :

      My experiences weren’t pleasant as well. It was through hard work that made me the writer I am today.

      To find my own kind not trying hard enough makes me platinum mad.

  2. Whimper says :

    “His Higurashi manga review is a top review. Please downvote it”.

    Done.

    Damn, these reviews was… physically exhausting (but I was one asking for it, wasn’t I?). I couldn’t even understand some sentences, let alone finding particular mistakes. You are indeed a very brave one.

    BTW, what you mean by “European keyboards”? I’m fairly sure I have one and I can type an apostrophe. ‘. (I did it! ; – )). Though I know that French keyboards are different. I’m asking out of curiosity, because I was a little surprised when you mentioned it.

    Ah, and of course: “sorry for my english not a first tongue”. ; – )

    • Commander Obvious says :

      trollkastel travels to many countries
      because (s)he is like rich

      so when (s)he tries using hotel computer
      (s)he gets pretty pissy
      because the keyboards are messed up changing symbols
      and the worst ones when its not qwerty

      also
      coppora

    • north1085 says :

      So, this is a late response. So late, in fact, that this reply isn’t even directed at you anymore ー It’s directed at other readers with the same misunderstanding (or rather, lack of understanding).

      I’ve downloaded a couple of Japanese keyboards and have experienced this dilemma. To illustrate the difference, I’ll be writing two sentences with precisely the same content, except I’ll be using the Japanese keyboard to punctuate the comma for the second rendition:

      “Oh no, my dog’s apples have started to rot!”
      “Oh no、 my dog’s apples have started to rot!”

      The comma counts as one character in both sentences. However, the second sentence uses some weird spacing simply because of how the keyboard works.

      That’s basically it.

  3. Emperor Huffius (@HailtoHuffius) says :

    Just found this blog website for the first time. Loving it.

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