Shinning Terribad Reviews: TORADORACLANNADAFTERSTORYANOHANA BEST ANIME EVER 10/10


Writing 10/10 reviews is an art. You have to write convincingly to show that the work is almost flawless and everybody can enjoy it. Such a review examines every aspect of this work and requires good understanding of all departments. Notes must be taken, symbols discussed, characterization considered, and themes explained; this type of review combines both reviewing and old-school literary analysis. Any 10/10 review that succeeds is worth fawning over. I cannot even mock the greatness of these reviews; few people can succeed.

In MAL, this translates to “this anime is amazing 10/10 roflmao~”

By the time this post is published, I will be boarding the plane to Chicago via Narita Airport. Plane trips are tiring so I’m not going to get sleep. And if I do sleep, I assume I will still have nightmares over the Shinning Terribad posts scheduled for this week. These 10/10 reviews are so awful it must be seen.

Since all of these animes share a rating of 10/10 and are terirbad, expect concussions.

#1: Honma, Meiko death to emotional

Username: chojidog
Subject: AnoHana
Episodes seen: 11 of 11 episodes seen
Found on: MyAnimeList

ok


If a review starts with the word, “Ok”, hide.

Ano Hi no Namae wo Bokutachi wa Mada Shiranai is one of the best animes i watched i really enjoy it because it uplifting what true friendships should be like.

i finding this sentence to actually be two sentences.also he writes like this and only capitalizes the title.ill explain why its capitalized later.anyway this annoys me.

“AnoHana is one of the best anime I’ve ever watched. I really enjoyed it because it’s uplifting and it shows what true friendships should be like.”

the story is about a group of childhood friends that was once close but after one of their friend death the group members when their different ways.

This review deaths me. Went is he going to actually use proper grammar?

Before I talk about the following sentences, I have watched this show. The following “paragraph” is so confusing it took me a while to get what he is saying. As someone who has read the worst passages in review history, I can safely say this is one of worse ones:

ten years has passed and the spirit of the death friend named Honma, Meiko came back to one of her friend house but she dont remember why she here so Yadomi, Jinta is the only one who can see her so he vow to help find out why she here and while helping Meiko he slowly get all their old childhood friends back together to help grant Honma Meiko wish to come true so she can rest in peace.

Those strange commas come from MyAnimeList’s character list. Yes, the reviewer copied the names and forgot to take out the commas. Because I use proper grammar, I had a tough time reading. Even if I ignore the grammar mistakes and run-on sentences, the commas are so distracting it made the writing unbearable. Content is digested at a snail’s pace.

I can’t believe what I was reading. You have to be so stupid to do this.

“Ten years has passed when all of a sudden, Honma Meiko has returned as a ghost and she has no idea why she’s back. Yadomi Jinta is the only one who can see her and vows to help her while he tries to be friends with his old buddies again.”

i cry so much because it to emotional but it great


i sniffle this great sentence.

Suggested Improvements:

  • Never start with the word, “Ok.” It’s not okay.
  • If you copy stuff from MAL, at least know what the hell you’re copying.
  • Go to school.

#2: The relevance of the story in our life

Username: dai-iane-otaku
Subject: Angel Beats!
Episodes seen: 13 of 13 episodes seen
Found on: MyAnimeList

It was a great anime.

Never start with a conclusive statement like that as an intro; it makes your reader quickly uninterested. It’s like saying the punchline before the joke even starts.

The relevance of the story in our life is really amazing.

OH BOY WE GOT A PHILOSOPHER

While Watching it!! I really cried a lot! I don’t know why? but I felt the sadness inside the story..


Grammar raped = graped. I’m eating grapes right now.

The last sentence (?) does not even end in an ellipsis — just two random periods.

and I do re-watch it again T.T

I don’t understand why this sentence exists ;_;

The songs was awesome.

“were”. Also, “songs” should be replaced with “insert songs” or if you include the OP/ED, “music”.

How can this short review fail so much?

*PERSONAL IMPLICATION*

What.

*WHAT A HEADER*

I realized that all of us have only one life.

Holy shit, she’s right! How can we not figure this one out? She’s the Immanuel Kant of the 21st century!

It is still worth it whatever things you faced in the past.

This sentence is so confusing and nonsensical it must be a complex sentence with complex ideas.

Our life is something that nobody can have, our own experiences, memories, and people we met is irreplaceable no one can erase them in us;


Jun Maeda, hire this reviewer as your writer! SubaHibi and Forest will lose to this philosopher.

no none can get it because it is the best gift we ever had.

Yes, no none will replace your philosophical, complex writing.

When I am watching this anime, I can’t stop crying, I can’t stop thinking how precious my life is it.

Let us ignore the fact that it’s supposed to be past tense and that a semicolon should replace the second comma: it is a work of art — no, this is philosophy! … At its finest! This intentional grape is telling us how important life is. To rectify a simple mistake that may confuse people is a demonic mistake.

Let her enlighten us with more messages like the following sentence:

I just need to accept everything that happens.

She has accepted the determinist philosophy! This comes out from nowhere! It’s as poignant as a wise saying from a fortune cookie. Mind I remind you that she is writing a philosophy derived from complete nonsense? If one reads her philosophy again, one will remark that these sentences mean nothing. They are, as one may call it, ‘fluff’. Useless fluff. Isn’t that what the whole branch of metaphysics is about?

Oh, let me read your last sentence. How does it end — oh, how does it end?

I hope that Angel Beats will have its new season.


Applaud! Applaud!

Suggested Improvements:

  • Fuse your “personal implication” into your review. That’s how you write a review.
  • Don’t try to write about existentialist philosophy on Angel Beats! if you have not read any prominent existentialist philosophers’ writing. It makes you look baka~

#3: ***

Username: yujizzsakai
Subject: Angel Beats!
Episodes seen: 12 of 12 episodes seen
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other Notes: I love the username. Saying it aloud is like a lovely song by Choro Club’s.

dont listen to what the others are saying they dont know what the *** their talking about this anime is

*** yes, especially this reviewer. Not even a single description of the anime, just recommendations.

amazing and wonderful im an anime fan and never going to disrespect it.

*** is this ***

this anime is perfect for ecchi/romance drama lover’s
perfect anime if ur going to get into watching anime

The ***? You made a *** paradox. What you stated is simply this: newbies are ecchi/romance drama lovers. This is because you separated into two *** sentences and it didn’t help that you write the *** word, “perfect”. *** terrible writing.

This short review is ***.

Suggested Improvements:

  • *** this. I have no suggestions.

#4 and #5: Petition This: Double Feature


Username: ilovehetalia
Subject: Rosario + Vampire and Rosario + Vampire Capu2
Episodes seen: 13 of 13 episodes seen (both)
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other Notes: These two reviews are so similar we might as well talk about it both.

Rosario + Vampire

This is my favorite anime i love it sooo much!

Yay, nobody cares~

If you are also a fan of this anime you will know that there are only two seasons. I want a third season!

Main content of review. Seriously.

If you also want a third season, go to this website to sign a petition for Capu3!

What.

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/rosario-vampire-capu3.html

Amazing review. Its sequel better raise the stakes.

Rosario + Vampire Capu2

This was the best season of the series!

I call for the season of Winter to pour down some snow onto this reviewer.

I love this anime it is my favorite!

Because this matters.

I want there to be a Capu3! If you also want Capu3 then sign this petition for Capu3!

http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/rosario-vampire-capu3.html


Please make this reviewer’s dream come true.

Suggested Improvements:

  • Petitions go to a forum.

#6: This review is special.

Username: Dylan-kun
Subject: Clannad: After Story
Episodes seen: 24 of 24 episodes seen
Found on: MyAnimeList

Other Notes: I have not watched the Clannad series because people keep telling me to. It’s annoying. I intentionally chose an After Story review to make my point.

This anime doesn’t even need a review.

So true.

All I can say about this anime is I don’t understand how anyone can give it less than a 10.

All I can say about this review is that I don’t understand how three other people besides himself voted this review helpful.

It is so perfect in every way.

This non-existant review ignores explanations like a boss.

Clannad changed my life and how I saw people.

It blinded you? Oh dear.

I could list millions of amazing things about this anime but I don’t have to.

Thank goodness, I wouldn’t want to read that!

Clannad speaks vibrantly for itself and needs no help in doing so.

Unlike this review~

Clannad is the greatest masterpiece that I have ever had the privilege to behold.

So there are other masterpieces?

Notice how he doesn’t use After Story, the sequel. The word, “Clannad”, is used to refer the first season of the show. This is confusing because it can be interpreted as:

a) the first season
b) second season
c) the visual novel
d) both seasons
e) both seasons and the visual novel

I think he’s referring it to the second season, but who the hell knows.

It takes you to the edge and back

What a terrible driver.

No disappointments.

This review disappoints me though.

Even its OVA takes the viewer on a wonderful journey of “what-ifs”.

What if Nagisa lives, sees this review, and dies in utter shock from this terribad review?

… I hate Clannad fans for ruining the end. I have not watched this show because of people like him~

Clannad is nothing short of perfection.

Suggested Improvements:

  • Explain everything you like. Seriously.
  • Reading shallow reviews like this is not fun for me.
  • Except for people who enjoy reading this sadomasochistic activity of mine.

#7: Moe

Username: Yellowknife
Subject: K-On!
Episodes seen: 24 of 24 episodes seen
Found on: MyAnimeList

This show is so Moe,

Oh dear, we have a Weeaboo capitalizer.

one can relate to most of the characters,

An independent clause needs a sentence.

Simple story the songs are pretty good too.

The three quotes so far form the first sentence of this review. And this fragment is broken English as well.

This is sad.

Makes me regret not joining a band in High School.

Capitalizing high school —

Suggested Improvements:

  • Don’t Capitalize Random Shit

#8: most disgtingly beatiful story

Username: Benniman
Subject: Clannad: After Story
Episodes seen: 23 of 24 episodes seen
Found on: MyAnimeList

They say not to write spoilers in a review, so I will not.

I KNOW YOU WANT TO SAY, “NAGISA DIES”
SO I DID IT FOR YOU
GARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Clannad, Afterstory, or the previous series…

… I don’t understand this sentence. And “Afterstory” is not a word.

I can’t understand anyone not having emotions watching this, it toys with your heart…


Isaac Amisov, meet your maker. According to the review: before watching After Story, we had no emotions; after watching it, we have developed emotions. Yet, it — referring to After Story, I assume — toys with our newly formed heart. Amazing.

This sentence makes no sense.

I did not love this story, I cried most of the time.

A 10/10 rating sounds reasonable.

It touched me.

After Story is a pedophile. Please arrest it.

It is the most disgtingly beatiful story I have ever seen.

What a disgustingly beautiful sentence.

I had my first daughter adopted since I could not take care of her, this story tore me apart limb to limb.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is the sentence fixed in proper grammar:

“My first daughter is adopted. However, since I could not take care of her, this story tore me apart limb to limb.”

Higurashi might be less gorier than this.

A must watch….if i go any more in detail i will give spoilers.

NAGISA DIES

PLEASE WATCH THIS STORY!, Cry, scream,

Cry, scream: reasonable forms of expression against this bloody stupid sentence.

Mock this story and i will be in your face…

Reading this sentence makes me horny. In fact, it made me remember this CG from Ougon Musou Kyoku Cross:

It really does fit the sentence, desho?

don’t have anything nice to say then shut up.


Hello reviewer, my name is Trollkastel, intellectual rapist.

This is my message in a bottle:

“Fuck Clannad fanboys; fuck After Story fangirls; fuck every type of fanboys and fangirls out there in the world. You are all horrible people, destroying every fun normal human beings can have in a work. I can’t watch a work without recalling your obnoxious smiles and memes.

Except me. I can control myself.

The difference between me and you is simple: I don’t force people to watch my favorite works. I simply recommend them when the time feels right. Fans who try to recommend people an anime tend to fail because they are too forceful. Nobody likes opinions shoved down their throats. Aren’t adverts annoying?

So to these people who still do this:

Why don’t you just give up and die already?

Simply by placing Umineko trollface pictures, this level of trolling is reasonable for Trollkastel.

What do you think of this, everyone?”

Suggested Improvements:

  • I, Trollkastel, have duct tape!
  • Let me duct tape you to your seat!
  • Never review ever again!
  • ahaha.wav
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About Kastel

My panache feels very hard.

9 responses to “Shinning Terribad Reviews: TORADORACLANNADAFTERSTORYANOHANA BEST ANIME EVER 10/10”

  1. Seihai-kun says :

    Don’t let those irrationally exuberant reviews of anime get you down, Troll-kun. Tada! Executive Editor Kit!

    (Edit them when they least expect it)

  2. Adair says :

    Best one so far.

    Seriously, I’ve never seen such enlightening reviews. Thanks to these lovely writers, I now know that fuck has three letters, among other things.

  3. etery-chan says :

    Please don’t let these fools ruin Clannad. I wonder why they forced themselves to write reviews while they don’t have the capability to do so. It would do the world a favor if they would just let their review section empty.

    Spoiler : Nagisa lives!

    • Trollkastel says :

      Lurking at an anime website is hell if you’re trying to avoid Clannad fanboys/fangirls.

      • eternia says :

        Exactly. I love Clannad. But I will never do something as stupid as checking every anime website/blog/forum, in order to argue with people who bashed it. It’s pointless.
        That’s what currently happening to SAO, and it pissed me off to no end. I only talked bad about it in my own circle. I have never jumped in on the faggots’ conversation / their fan club, and talked trash there? What happened is the other way around, the faggots performed comprehensive search on Google and defended their wet dream on every website.
        *sigh*

  4. feal87 says :

    *lurks around laughing a bit*

  5. ALS says :

    These were really funny.

    I’m kind of frustrated about the Clannad: After Story spoiler, though. I haven’t watched Clannad or its sequel, so that sucks. I’ll still probably watch just to see what the fuss is all about. :-/

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